DM and assisted living/living w\snafu

[snafu]

Well my mom needs more help. I have been checking into assisted living places by me, and Mom's not sure she has the money for it. She may end up moving with me.

[LucyVanPelt]

I'm sorry to hear that.

What does your mother really want?

[Mrs X]

I'm so sorry it has come to this for your Mom. What will work best for your family? - Would you have to employ help if she does live with you?

[KayKay]

Would she be able to afford any assisted living places closer to her home?

[snafu]

The assisted living near where she lives now .... is not too good ...

her friends from church are dying off, and having their own issues - transportation to appointments, shopping, etc. is getting difficult

her heart dr is in my area .... I can be there in 25- 30 min (depending on traffic)

mom's preference is assisted living, but ... IMHO she'd get depressed living in a place with no view/grounds, 320 sq ft (the bathroom is probably 1/3 of the space), and having to give up the majority of her stuff. The place with a view and gardens = $$$

I can do a lot of the stuff she'd have to pay for (cooking, laundry, transportation to dr apts).

The main draw back of living with me would be limiting her social circle.

[Swiss140]

snafu what are her arrangements now? Does she still live in her own place, does she have someone like a home health aid that comes check on her?

[snafu]

she lives on her own, but needs someone to do the shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc... drive her to appointments


she's said she's not been eating right

[snafu]

Oh, yea ..... I'm looking for ideas to make sure she gets enough socialization



DH suggested checking into an adult "day care" center ... she might be able to make 1-2 days a week

I've thought of setting up a "skype center" so that she can skype with the grand & great-grand kids

The pharmacy we use told me that the person who delivers meds will also spend time with customers and help put meds in the pill reminder/planner

[LucyVanPelt]

There are many different senior "helping hands" groups in my area. They help with all the things your mother needs help with so that the seniors can continue to remain in their own homes. They maintain some independence, stay in a familiar and comforting environment, etc.


If she moves in with you, she will rely on you for everything. You will be her Social Circle, even if she goes to day care. That's a lot of responsibility and stress. Before you move your mom in, find a local "care giver's group" for your own support and to locate respite care so you and DH can enjoy time alone, too.

[snafu]

I know Lucy .... my MIL does senior assistance .... we don't know if she'd be interested in adding my mom to her schedule 2-3 times a week.

I'm also looking into trips/local tours that are offered thru continuing education in my area.