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Old March 31st, 2013, 06:08 PM
Cagnc90 Cagnc90 is offline
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Unhappy Boyfriends daughter hates OUR dog.

my boyfriend and I moved in together at the beginning of this year. He has a two year old daughter who does not live with us. We decided to get a puppy about a month after we moved in, a rottweiler named jax. Well my boyfriends daughter HATES him. She actually hates everyone but humans are another story. Jax stays to him self for the most part, he wants to play with her but he can tell she doesn't like him. Im concerned because my boyfriend won't let the dog around her. She already isn't here much so I'm afraid she will never get used to him. It's to the point where he wants to get rid of jax just because his daughter doesn't like him. Keep In mind jax doesn't touch her, he's very well mannered and calm when she's around. He is very playful she just won't give give him a chance.
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Old March 31st, 2013, 06:32 PM
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KayKay KayKay is offline
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Re: Boyfriends daughter hates OUR dog.

She's two.

She is hardly old enough to be reasoned with as far as trusting a dog.

I'll be honest - I was terrified of dogs when I was a child. Terrified. I didn't have any particular bad experiences that I remember. I was just scared of them for normal things that dogs do (jump, lick, sniff, bark). My mom had a chihuahua and I hated that dog. He was a perfectly nice dog, well-behaved enough that my mom could take him on planes and stuff, and everyone else in the family loved him. I was just terrified of dogs.

I got over my terror once I got bigger than most dogs, but I was in my forties before I met a dog I actually liked. I still don't like most dogs, although I am now willing to get to know them before passing judgment. I even dog sit for one of my good friends, but I really like her dogs. My son was afraid of dogs as a child, and my husband still avoids them if he can.

I feel bad for your dog, and I feel bad for you because I can tell you really love animals. But I also feel really bad for your boyfriend's daughter. Speaking as someone who was terrified of dogs as a kid, I don't think you should force Jax on your boyfriend's daughter. I think your boyfriend's willingness to chose his daughter's needs over your dog is completely reasonable.

For the record, since she doesn't live with you, you don't know what other experience your boyfriend's daughter has with dogs. It really might not be a good idea at that age to teach her that dogs are wonderful playthings, especially if she has a neighbor with a mean dog.
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Old March 31st, 2013, 06:42 PM
Cagnc90 Cagnc90 is offline
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Re: Boyfriends daughter hates OUR dog.

I get that's she's scared and that's fine I understand some people don't like dogs. She does have two labs at her moms house they stay outside for the most part but she is around them. I'm not by any means trying to get her to play with him I just wish they would be in the same room with out her crying. He's such a good dog that I think it's extreme to get rid of him especially since his daughter is only here MAYBE once a week. I love her and I don't want to make her uncomfortable but it's just frustrating because I can tell jax likes her and wants to be around her and love on her and all that. She just wants no part of him.
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Old March 31st, 2013, 06:50 PM
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Re: Boyfriends daughter hates OUR dog.

My mother's dog was my dog's brother. He was a small breed, Boston Bull. One day, after years of having him and absolutely unprovoked--we were there and witnessed it-- the dog bit my son when he was petting it. He still has the scars on his face. We later learned the dog had a bad hip.

One never knows what a dog will do. Or what a toddler will do. And since children come before pets, your BF should do what is best for his daughter.

If that is something you don't think you can embrace, you may want to rethink your relationship. That little girl will be his life forever and her needs will be a priority for a long time.
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Old March 31st, 2013, 07:07 PM
Cagnc90 Cagnc90 is offline
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Re: Boyfriends daughter hates OUR dog.

I mean if that's your mindset no one with kids should ever own a pet. And that's garbage. I understand you take risks owning pets but my issue here isn't an aggressive animal, it's a scared little girl. Should I get rid of a GREAT dog who is loyal and loving and gental and nice because a little girl simply doesn't like him. For no reason just doesn't like dogs. My boyfriend and I made a commitment when we purchased jaxon. And that was to love him and care for him, until something tore us apart implying death. If he was very agreasive I would understand. But just because he is a dog doesn't make him expendable. You don't buy pets with the mentality of "oh I can get rid of him if it doesn't work out"
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Old March 31st, 2013, 07:29 PM
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Angry Re: Boyfriends daughter hates OUR dog.

I'm getting more and more irritated with your post lady with the agreasive dog. That was such an ignorant statement to even make. I know that every dog COULD but someone. But that's clearly not my issue. I never once implied my dog being aggressive. I realize this sounds mean not I tended to be but his daughter is kind of backwards towards anyone who isn't her mom or dad. I've been around since she was 6 months old and she is just now getting to the point where she likes me and wants to play. She's skeptical of everyone and everything. Should we "get rid" of people that come in our house that she doesn't like?
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Old March 31st, 2013, 07:30 PM
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Re: Boyfriends daughter hates OUR dog.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cagnc90 View Post
my issue here isn't an aggressive animal, it's a scared little girl.
I think the issue is that your boyfriend's daughter is not as important to you as your puppy. That's perfectly okay for you to feel that way, but it is not okay for HIM to feel that way.


Cagnc90, I have three cats. I love them. They are family members, and I understand first hand how you feel about your dog. My cats are tremendously important to me. But my children take precedence over my cats. Period. I would not be willing to keep an animal who caused one of my children suffer in some way.

I'm not saying you need to get rid of your great dog, but I do think your boyfriend should put his daughter first.

Is there any compromise? Can someone take your dog on the weekends that your boyfriend's daughter is with you, or can Jax stay in the yard?
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Old March 31st, 2013, 07:33 PM
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Re: Boyfriends daughter hates OUR dog.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cagnc90 View Post
I'm getting more and more irritated with your post lady with the agreasive dog. That was such an ignorant statement to even make.
LucyVanPelt was relaying a story of something that happened to her. She did not say that her mom's dog was aggressive. She said that her mom's dog had a completely unforeseen health problem that caused him/her to turn, unprovoked, on a toddler.

I do not see that as an ignorant statement. I see it as a specific experience. I think your vet would probably agree that it could happen.



I can tell you are very upset at the fact that the girl doesn't like your dog. But she's TWO. It is completely normal for two year olds to not warm up to other people. It is completely normal for two year olds to be afraid of dogs. I really don't know what you want from this whole situation? What do YOU think the solution is?
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Last edited by KayKay; March 31st, 2013 at 07:39 PM.
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Old March 31st, 2013, 10:24 PM
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Re: Boyfriends daughter hates OUR dog.

My BFF had 2 huskies that were very good with him ( the larger one would obey DS before he'd obey me)


At that age little ones don't always realize that all dogs are not _____s - and when they see a different type of dog they may not realize its a dog.

My DS was terrified of small dogs when he was 1-3. To him dogs were huskies (not tea cup dobbermans, mini poodles, etc.)
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Old April 1st, 2013, 05:43 AM
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Re: Boyfriends daughter hates OUR dog.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KayKay View Post
LucyVanPelt was relaying a story of something that happened to her. She did not say that her mom's dog was aggressive. She said that her mom's dog had a completely unforeseen health problem that caused him/her to turn, unprovoked, on a toddler.

I do not see that as an ignorant statement. I see it as a specific experience. I think your vet would probably agree that it could happen.



I can tell you are very upset at the fact that the girl doesn't like your dog. But she's TWO. It is completely normal for two year olds to not warm up to other people. It is completely normal for two year olds to be afraid of dogs. I really don't know what you want from this whole situation? What do YOU think the solution is?
Exactly. My dog and my mother's dog never demonstrated any type of aggressiveness. We had those dogs for 7 years. It was totally unexpected.

Google "toddlers and dogs" and read. They all advise to keep them separate. Prevention is better than cure.


Quote:
his daughter is kind of backwards towards anyone who isn't her mom or dad. I've been around since she was 6 months old and she is just now getting to the point where she likes me and wants to play. She's skeptical of everyone and everything. Should we "get rid" of people that come in our house that she doesn't like?
. She's 2 and this is developmentally appropriate for her age. It may be amplified by a shy personality, as well. I've been teaching the same child for 2 years (he's almost 5) and he still takes a few minutes to "warm up" to me. His mother encourages him and we both do what we can to help him feel welcome and comfortable. Then he doesn't want to leave! Maybe he'll grow out of his timidity. Maybe he won't. He'll be okay either way as long as he has people around him who accept him and help him to feel secure. The same can be said for your BF's DD, or any toddler for that matter.
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