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Old May 20th, 2019, 04:08 AM
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I am insane

According to Dr. Phil, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting a different result.

And that's what I do.

DM is turning 74 this week. I thought it would be nice if all her children went to dinner to celebrate.

DB: I can't make it til this time, but don't worry about that. Set the time that works best for everyone else and I'll do my best to get there. [Appropriate response, right?]

ODSis: I don't care what time, but I need a ride. I need to take my grandson. Dinner was good last time we went. This will be fun! [A little irritating, but okay.]

YDSis: I can't eat late. [IOW, she won't accommodate DB's work schedule.]

Me: When I talk to Mom on Sunday, I'll see what time she wants to go out and that's what time dinner will be.

I call DM for our Sunday night conversation and she says, "What's this about going to dinner? I want to eat at 4, but I don't want you to pay for everyone. Why can't we just have dinner at your house? Your ODSis and YDSis need help getting in and out of cars, and it's so much work getting them there. It's a problem going to the restaurant... You'll have to send me the directions again because I don't remember how to get there..."

So, YDSis called DM to get the dinner time she wanted, probably complained that ODSis needed a ride, etc. All this complaining and manipulating when *I* invited *them* out to dinner?!?

DM declined the dinner invitation. I'm not having everyone at my house. Right now, I'm thinking I'm dropping a card in the mail with a gift card to the Friendly's near her and calling it a day. She knows where that is and there's easy accessibility.

And the next time YDSis decides that I'm a terrible daughter because I'm too busy, I might have to tell her that I'm too busy because they are terrible family.

Last edited by LucyVanPelt; May 20th, 2019 at 04:35 AM.
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Old May 26th, 2019, 11:40 AM
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Re: I am insane

Drop the rope, make plans for your nuclear family to see your mom.

Don't try to herd cats....
(Who always want to opposite of what you offer)
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Old May 27th, 2019, 05:06 AM
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Re: I am insane

The real rope is with DM. I dropped it. The dinner was supposed to be yesterday. My nuclear family enjoyed a nice day together. DM stayed home.
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Old May 27th, 2019, 09:41 AM
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Re: I am insane

That feeling when people self-sabotage and then blame you...


So what has been the fallout? Because we know there is going to be fallout.
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Old May 27th, 2019, 05:58 PM
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Re: I am insane

So far the fallout has been nil, because I'm on to her games.

DM told me yesterday that, while she really appreciated my inviting everyone to dinner, she didn't want me doing anything more because I do too much already.

Then she asked what I was doing this week on her days off. She wants to come and hang out at my house.

I'm working.
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