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  #31  
Old May 12th, 2014, 06:51 PM
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Re: How do I help my stepson with his attitude?

(((hugs)))
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  #32  
Old May 13th, 2014, 07:52 PM
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Re: How do I help my stepson with his attitude?

So, he was lieing because his mom is messing with his head and telling him not to like me. He came home Monday literally shaking from being so stressed His dad had a long talk just the two of them and then they came in and we all talked together too. By the end of our long talk, things were fine. My stepson helped me make cookies, was being kind, and even hugged me before bed time. And today was even better. We had a really fun day together after school. Took them out to ride their bikes, and there was a moment where my stepson and I were alone and he hugged me and said he really is happy with me and he picked me a flower too *heart melts*.

And I know he was being genuine. I can tell when he is being fake. He really is showing his heart this week. I am happy and yet at the same time sad because who knows what is going to happen after his mom's next week I feel so bad she is messing with his head! This poor kid. He just wants to be happy. I know it has to be hard to see your son get along with another mother like figure, but this is so immature and sad of her. We are still waiting on hearing back from the counselor too, so that'll be a help too and hopefully we can keep him on this positive track.
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  #33  
Old May 14th, 2014, 06:00 AM
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Re: How do I help my stepson with his attitude?

I am so glad you all had those moments. Hold onto them for when the tough times return; remember that those moments are real. (((Hugs)))
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  #34  
Old May 14th, 2014, 08:09 PM
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Re: How do I help my stepson with his attitude?

I once read a book I think it was called divorce and new beginnings

there was a section to help families blend

it recommended that the bio parent do one on one activities with the children

and that the non bio parent do that as well,

Plus do some family activities

Home Depot has some Adirondack chair kits ... and I bet you could do one as a fun "hands on" activity with DSSs

Or, what DS used to love doing with me was going to an arcade that had air hockey
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  #35  
Old May 25th, 2014, 10:06 PM
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Re: How do I help my stepson with his attitude?

Big changes for this family. Now, nothing is 100 percent set in stone yet. But my stepsons' mom called my husband to tell him she is planning on moving an hour away with her boyfriend at the end of this summer and will then go from having the boys every other week, to just every other weekend. Which means we would get them more.

Mixed feelings, of course. But overall, I have to say we are excited about this. It could mean so much good. More stability for the boys. And we'll feel like more of a family. And she wont be able to mess with their heads as much.

But, I also feel really bad for the boys They love their mom and whenever she tells them about this, I know it's going to hurt them. I'm preparing for anything. They might be ok, but I have a feeling they will have a hard time with this. I'm going to do everything I can think of to help them transition into this, if it ends up happening.

Things have been really good lately with all of us and I want to keep it that way as best I can. We also have an appointment for my older stepson to see the therapist and that should help too as all of this plays out. I hope anyways. These poor kids have been through so much in their lives
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  #36  
Old May 26th, 2014, 02:31 AM
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Re: How do I help my stepson with his attitude?

I hope it does lead to the boys knowing they are going to be consistently be in a stable loving home. But how sad for them that mom is prepared to "give them up". They'll carry that for the rest of their lives if it is not handled in the right way by mom.

Here to a more loving and brighter future to you all!
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  #37  
Old May 26th, 2014, 02:37 PM
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Re: How do I help my stepson with his attitude?

Good luck, and echoing what Anns says.
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  #38  
Old July 7th, 2014, 08:05 PM
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Re: How do I help my stepson with his attitude?

Hey guys! How are you all doing? Just thought I should check in since I haven't in awhile. No news has been good news from our end so far. I have seriously had no issues! Well, no major issues. And their mom even told them about her move. They were upset, but they actually took it pretty well.

And as this summer has progressed, we really are seeing this will be the best for them. I don't need to go into too many details, but they have been exposed to some bad stuff at her house. Like they witnessed someone overdosing My oldest stepson was so upset he was literally sick to his stomach for an entire day after that.

They have acted up here and there, and my oldest stepson has definitely had his moments. But he has really gotten control on his anger and his mouth. I am so proud of him! He might start to snap and yell at us, but he always pulls back before it gets too far. Which is definitely progress. And I know we gotta expect it will take time for him to overcome his anger.

He also is seeing a therapist tomorrow (we finally got him an appointment!) and even though things are going really well for us right now, I think it'll be good for him to have someone to talk to. Especially as the time his mom is moving approaches. I'm expecting that could get rough.

But I really have a good feeling. I feel like we are a family. Right now, I actually feel some peace. I know things wont always be easy, but I think we'll be ok
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  #39  
Old July 7th, 2014, 09:26 PM
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Re: How do I help my stepson with his attitude?

Thanks for checking in! It's so gratifying to know that you're making a difference in a kid's life.
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  #40  
Old July 8th, 2014, 07:27 AM
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Re: How do I help my stepson with his attitude?

I hope that interior peace sustains you through the rough spots. That boy is lucky to have you in his life. And so is the boy's father.
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