Go Back   Friends and Family Forum > The Family Forum > Other

Other A place to discuss any other family member or have general family discussions

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old September 7th, 2014, 10:48 AM
TheEndHorizon TheEndHorizon is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 2
TheEndHorizon is on a distinguished road
My parents are moving in the middle of my senior year, advice?

I really need some serious advice on this, it would be even better if you've had experience with this. My dad often has to move for his job, but we last moved to where we are currently before my 8th grade year. We lived here for 4+ years, and I have friends and a girlfriends and a life at school and in our school band. My dad originally told me he would make it where we wouldnt have to move until I graduate. But now, my dad got transferred to Los Angeles(2000 miles away), and I don't know what to do. My parents told me that my mom would stay here with me for 7 months until I graduated that, but my mom changed her mind a week or so after they told me that and said it would be too hard on her. I will most likely turn 18 by the time we move, I have good academics, and I have a stable job with an IT company, however, it pays minimum wage. Here are my two option: Move with my parents to LA. My parents found a way I can graduate HS after the first semester and move with them then. They have offered to buy me a better far when we move over there, and bribed me with other things. I would love to move to LA, but I don't want to leave everything else behind. I would rather do it on my own. Other option: my friends parents offered to let me stay at their house until I graduate, and I know my parents wouldn't be okay with that, but I'll be 18. I could stay here and finish my senior year, but possibly without my parents support. I would hope they would still support me monetarily. Advice?

P.S. My dad already makes $200,000+ year, so he's no doing it for the money. But don't get me wrong, I don't get a ton of expensive stuff, our house isn't even very big. I don't know where all that money goes, probably just in savings. Also, I kind of don't like my parents. I hate their methods of parenting and we have different beliefs. My dad is my step/adopted father, and my mother is my biological mother. I think I would kind of like to get away from them.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old September 7th, 2014, 01:09 PM
KayKay's Avatar
KayKay KayKay is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 16,172
KayKay has a reputation beyond reputeKayKay has a reputation beyond reputeKayKay has a reputation beyond reputeKayKay has a reputation beyond reputeKayKay has a reputation beyond repute
Re: My parents are moving in the middle of my senior year, advice?

I know several kids whose parents have moved in situations like yours. For the most part, the kids stayed behind - successfully, I might add. If you are a responsible kid who doesn't party or cause trouble, if I were in your shoes I'd ask your parents if you can stay behind. If your parents can afford to bribe you, they can afford to help you financially even if it's just plane tickets back and forth to see them. Besides, you would be giving up your job, which is not only good experience but also part of the financial side of the equation. Would your parents be willing to make up the lost income to you?

Senior year is a tough time anyway with applying to colleges and making big lifetime decisions. It would be best for you to have a support system you know and who knows you. It is not the right time to be getting to know a new city, trying to make new friends, etc. It can be done, of course, but you are old enough to decide (in my opinion) which is best for you.

The kids I have known who have done that successfully have lived in their parents' old home. Maybe your parents can hold on to their house for 7 months even if your mom isn't willing to stay there full time? If they aren't likely to want you to stay at a friend's house, don't suggest it. Maybe they'd feel more comfortable if you stayed behind with a person of their choice? Do you have relatives near where you live now?


ETA: I have a daughter who is a senior this year, and I'd let her stay behind if my husband and I had to leave. She has too much invested in her high school (class ranking, leadership positions, etc.) for me to ask her to give it up. Fortunately I also have a son who is a sophomore in college and lives in the same town. I'd want them to live together in our same house.
__________________
Expecto Patronum!

Last edited by KayKay; September 7th, 2014 at 01:13 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old September 7th, 2014, 01:32 PM
LucyVanPelt's Avatar
LucyVanPelt LucyVanPelt is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 9,455
LucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond reputeLucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond reputeLucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond reputeLucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond reputeLucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond reputeLucyVanPelt has a reputation beyond repute
Re: My parents are moving in the middle of my senior year, advice?

I understand how you feel. I moved 9 times and attended 7 different schools by the time I was 14. I was finally settled and felt at home my jr year and my stepfather said we were moving again. Fortunately, he changed his mind.

It doesn't sound like your dad is going to change his mind, though. I'm sorry about that.

I think what you've done here is a pretty mature way of looking at things. You know you'll be 18 and can make your own decision, and you have some options figured out.

Now, do a more detailed pros and cons lists for your options. Include possible consequences. Then take that list to your parents and talk to your parents about it.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old September 7th, 2014, 02:33 PM
snafu's Avatar
snafu snafu is offline
future crazy cat lady
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Mid-west
Posts: 9,879
snafu has a reputation beyond reputesnafu has a reputation beyond reputesnafu has a reputation beyond reputesnafu has a reputation beyond repute
Re: My parents are moving in the middle of my senior year, advice?

In my DH's experience (moved from one state to another before his senior year) some schools don't want "new comers" upsetting the class ranking order

(guess who & whose twin weren't welcomed as they had excellent GPAs and that would have effected class rankings & who got what scholarships at the new school) {it wasn't only students who were unhappy, there was staff too}
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old September 7th, 2014, 07:52 PM
TheEndHorizon TheEndHorizon is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 2
TheEndHorizon is on a distinguished road
Re: My parents are moving in the middle of my senior year, advice?

When it comes to living on my own, I think I could successfully do it, and they definitely have enough money to support me. But they're kind of petty, and I'm afraid if I go to talk to them about it, that they might decide that my mom should move with me earlier so that I don't have a chance to get away, because my birthday is literally right after the semester ends. I've thought about the possibility that I could run away for a few days until I turn 18, but that sounds like a rather risky idea. Plus there is still the fact that if they really don't want me to move, they could still get me in trouble with the law because my car is technically there's and stuff like that. Also, the course I'm taking to graduate early is completely online, so I won't have to get used to any high school in Los Angeles.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old September 7th, 2014, 09:11 PM
KayKay's Avatar
KayKay KayKay is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 16,172
KayKay has a reputation beyond reputeKayKay has a reputation beyond reputeKayKay has a reputation beyond reputeKayKay has a reputation beyond reputeKayKay has a reputation beyond repute
Re: My parents are moving in the middle of my senior year, advice?

Do your parents have any close friends you could ask to sit in the "meeting" with you?

Are you planning on applying to college?
__________________
Expecto Patronum!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old September 18th, 2015, 07:59 PM
CLOUDYDAY13 CLOUDYDAY13 is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 5
CLOUDYDAY13 is on a distinguished road
Re: My parents are moving in the middle of my senior year, advice?

My parents moved when I was in the middle of college. They moved to a very rural area where I didn't know anyone. It was very hard on me at first, but over the years I grew to like the location. You say that you don't want to leave all of your friends, and everything you know behind. In a year or so, know that many of your friends will probably go to different colleges, move out of the area, etc. Would your parents let you stay for another year on your own, and if you want to move in with them later, then move later on? I say go with them. A lot of times changes can be scary and upsetting. But they can also be an opportunity to meet new people and learn new things. Don't think of moving as the end of the world. Maybe you'll live at home for a few more years and then later on maybe you'll move to a totally different area- where you want to live. Don't think of it as a black or white situation. You may move there and move somewhere else later on, or may stay , and move there later one. Either way, you will be ok. I am saying that from experience. Good luck to you!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
family, life, moving, parents, senior year

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:01 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2007, The BlueSparks Network