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Old July 31st, 2015, 04:50 PM
frustratedSIL frustratedSIL is offline
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Cool Sister in law thinks she lives here

My sister in law and I get along pretty well, although we haven't always, it is a good relationship now. She is very close to my husband and 1 year old daughter. She comes over to visit her niece, but then often (min 1x/week) stays to have a nap in our guest room, a shower or make some food for herself. She also sometimes brings over the boy she babysits to swim in our pool, or use it by herself if we are at work. Whenever we leave town, I find out upon returning home that she has stayed over....in our bed. I find my bed made differently, items tidied up and bathroom stuff moved, even if we have a guest room.

This really bothers me, because she has no shame in sharing info she has discovered about other people while snooping through their things. My husband sees no problem with this and feels I am against his family. Any thoughts? Would this bother you? How should I handle this situation?
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Old July 31st, 2015, 05:18 PM
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Re: Sister in law thinks she lives here

Yes that would bother me, I would be telling him to tell her before you do.
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Old July 31st, 2015, 05:38 PM
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Re: Sister in law thinks she lives here

Does she have a key to your house? That is the main problem.

You could ask her not to bring the boy swimming at your pool because it's a liability for you if something were to happen to him (even if you weren't home and hadn't given permission for him to be there).
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Old July 31st, 2015, 08:33 PM
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Re: Sister in law thinks she lives here

I feel your pain! My SIL went through my house when I wasn't home, decorated my house for Christmas, etc.

I an a very private person! I threw a temper tantrum. Then he changed the locks.
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Old August 4th, 2015, 01:03 PM
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Re: Sister in law thinks she lives here

I'd have real issues with someone invading my bedroom.


I have a hang-up - I don't like other people in my bedroom ... even when family comes over & our bed is where they put their coats. I deal with it (people's coats) because its my problem. But if someone were to sleep in my bed without my permission .... I'd be pizzed


I'd change the locks
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Old August 5th, 2015, 11:55 AM
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Re: Sister in law thinks she lives here

I would have a huge problem with this....

and can't for the life of me fathom why or how husbands can be so permissive with this.

this is your home to...as much as it is his home...and she is intruding....
I'm glad you have a good relationship with her, and you are probably worried if you push the issue, the relationship will be ruined...I say, so what?

I wouldn't want her in my house when I'm not home, and the only people I allow that to would be my son and dil.

Wouldn't even allow my sister to do that, b/c I know she snoops.

Its up to you, but if this is bothering you, you need to help your husband understand, this is a real intrusion on your privacy...and you live here and its just as much your home as it is his, and there are rules and have to be, when dealing with something like this.

First thing I would do is change the locks.

Besides, if she is bringing a boy she watches to your pool, if something God forbid would happen while he is in YOUR pool, I believe the parents could take you and your husband for everything you have.
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Old August 5th, 2015, 11:56 AM
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Re: Sister in law thinks she lives here

Quote:
Originally Posted by LucyVanPelt View Post
I feel your pain! My SIL went through my house when I wasn't home, decorated my house for Christmas, etc.

I an a very private person! I threw a temper tantrum. Then he changed the locks.
yeah, that would really upset me as well....glad your hubby did something about it.
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Old August 6th, 2015, 08:35 AM
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Re: Sister in law thinks she lives here

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Originally Posted by Cremebrulee View Post
yeah, that would really upset me as well....glad your hubby did something about it.
Me, too, but I don't know that he had a choice. Unless he wanted to be sleeping with his sister.
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Old August 6th, 2015, 08:46 AM
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Re: Sister in law thinks she lives here

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Originally Posted by LucyVanPelt View Post
Me, too, but I don't know that he had a choice. Unless he wanted to be sleeping with his sister.
I so admire you Lucy and the other girls....at your age, wasn't able to speak my mind, actually was afraid...and I don't think I was respected for being so meak and mild....wish I had been so much more like I am now....like you are.

Past oh, say, 13 - 15 years....I'm now well known to speak my mind...don't know if that is good or bad, but at least no one uses me as a door mat....

Good for you!
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Old August 6th, 2015, 10:13 AM
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Re: Sister in law thinks she lives here

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Originally Posted by Cremebrulee View Post
I so admire you Lucy and the other girls....at your age, wasn't able to speak my mind, actually was afraid...and I don't think I was respected for being so meak and mild....wish I had been so much more like I am now....like you are.

Past oh, say, 13 - 15 years....I'm now well known to speak my mind...don't know if that is good or bad, but at least no one uses me as a door mat....

Good for you!
Hehe, it's interesting how personalities evolve. You learned to speak your mind. I'm learning to hold my tongue. Can we ever have a happy medium?
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