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Old December 17th, 2015, 07:12 AM
slr0031 slr0031 is offline
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Bugged by Christmas letter

Hello this is about some pretty petty stuff but I find myself struggling with it. It seems it is never easy this time of year with my emotions.

Step mother that I have told my dad I do not want relationship with sends a family Christmas letter and included me in it. I have not talked to or seen her besides briefly at a funeral in 3 years. In the letter she writes how my husband and I have moved and I continue to be "captain of the ship". I am a stay at home mom. She then goes on to brag about all the accomplishments of herself, she is a professor, and her other 3 adult kids who all have or are working toward a career. She signed it Grammie, even though none of her kids have children, just me. I have been emotional the last few days since reading this letter. I feel aggravated because I don't talk to anybody in the letter and don't feel they are my family and I am also bothered because reading it I felt bad about myself being the only one who doesn't have a job. I feel I do a lot but reading that it felt like it said I do nothing. My husband and I have moved 5 times and he was away the last 6 months before this last move. It just made me feel angry and sad because I feel so distant from my dad. This letter has been sent my dad's entire side of family.

I don't want to let this woman get to me. I honestly don't know if she was trying to be nice by including me or trying to get to me because she knows I want nothing to do with her. Based on past behavior it is a challenge for me to give her the benefit of the doubt. How can I not let something so stupid bother me like this?

There have been a couple other things also. I have communicated I don't want a relationship with her a few times now and my dad made a big deal when I called him a few days before Thanksgiving about him calling me on Thanksgiving and could we all talk he asks. I said sure but thought I don't want to talk to her. Then he never called on Thanksgiving and texted me later that he forgot his phone. He was at my grandmothers and I know that everybody there has my phone number in their phone. He also came up north to see my step brother and his wife who live 5 min away from my mom. I was at my mom's. I found out they were going there before Thanksgiving and he acted all surprised when I said I would be at my mom's. He left the day I arrived. Then when I was at my mom's she said the step brother was told by my step mom, dad's wife, that my mom and her husband were coming to our house. We live 8 hours away. I never said that. I can't prove it but feel she said that on purpose so that I wouldn't be able to see my dad.

I am used to all this crap happening but I am just feeling hurt and am venting. My dad had told me he would be at my grandmother's hours away and never mentioned he would be in my hometown. I feel I need support getting through holidays with my emotions running high.
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