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  #31  
Old May 29th, 2009, 07:15 AM
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Re: Waiting for the other shoe to drop

snafu, My heart goes out to you. You have a very difficult situation.

I echo a lot of the previous posts and agree that it might be best if you didn't communicate either the problem or the changes in writing or orally because they probably won't result in any changes. I think the "just do it" route will accomplish what you want with the least turmoil.
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  #32  
Old May 29th, 2009, 03:08 PM
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Re: Waiting for the other shoe to drop

I think that ya'll are right - sending the letter, or even talking to her won't make a difference.

Kind of like an alcoholic - She is in denial and won't admit there's a problem. I can not make my sister admit there is a problem. She won't change until SHE admits to herself there is a problem. Therefore, as long as she is in denial, my sister won't change until SHE ADMITS to herself there is a problem.

Got it....

Last edited by snafu; May 29th, 2009 at 04:24 PM.
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  #33  
Old May 29th, 2009, 03:45 PM
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Re: Waiting for the other shoe to drop

But keep that spine of yours. No letter, but boundaries firmly in place. Right?

snafu... the letter was, at the very least, therapeutic. It was worthwhile.
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  #34  
Old August 24th, 2009, 08:08 AM
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Re: Waiting for the other shoe to drop

just a "note"-

According to our DM my twin NEVER mentions me or my DS () I guess if she pretends we don't exsist, the problem doesn't exsist.

Actually - I have NO CLUE what her thought process is, I just find it funny, even though I don't get along with either of my "D" Sisters (the older one is an "N" - 'nough said) I still ask mom about them & their kids



I've finally reached a point that I can talk (or think about talking) to her (twin) without getting POed - but since our DM went home from respite I've nothing to say to my twin.

Last edited by snafu; August 24th, 2009 at 08:08 AM. Reason: but I am to the point that I'd like to send her a letter - just not the one I posted here
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  #35  
Old November 26th, 2009, 03:34 PM
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Re: Waiting for the other shoe to drop

Well, its been a year since I last saw my twin, 11 months since our DM told her that her son was a bully.

Pretty much the only contact we've had is when I called her to get another frinds phone number, & when I called her about how our DM was doing while in the hospital.

Not one call/mention about our DSs OR what our DM said about her DS. Not one call to me about how worried/upset she was about MY DS's behavior last Thanksgiving.

All I've got to say is that I WILL NEVER LET THEM BULLY MY DS AGAIN!
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  #36  
Old February 4th, 2010, 09:14 PM
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Re: Waiting for the other shoe to drop

With our aunt passing away & our DM in the hospital, part of me wants to try talking with my both my sisters. But as twin & her DS bully my DS - No way- I would not accept that behavior from anyone else, so why in the h3ll should I accept it from someone just because they are "Family".

Famliy shouldn't treat a young child like carp just because they can get away with it; AND parents shouldn't allow it/tolerate it just because they're family.


BTW - my sister has not inniated a call once in the past year +. She's returned calls, but not called me first... oh well.... I really don't know what we'd talk about anyway.
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  #37  
Old February 4th, 2010, 10:12 PM
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Re: Waiting for the other shoe to drop

It's such a highly emotional time, snafu... Don't get hurt.
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  #38  
Old March 9th, 2010, 03:25 PM
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Re: Waiting for the other shoe to drop

I know I need to talk to DH, but...

(this may get convoluted)
Anyway, my sis e-mailed me wondering if I would want her to forward an e-mail that she got from our DM's cousin. He'd taken pictures of the plantation home that our grandpa's grandmother grew up in & he e-mailed sis some picts (both are interested in geneology)


Now I'm wondering what her motives (if any) are. She could have just forwarded the e-mail without asking if I would want it forwarded

-is she trying to find out if I'm receptive to communicating with her; then later discuss the issue(s)

-is she trying to do what so many do...just pretend things never happend


could someone look in thier crystal ball for me?
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  #39  
Old March 10th, 2010, 08:54 AM
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Re: Waiting for the other shoe to drop

No crystal ball here, snafu. Take the question at face value-- do you want her to forward the pics? If you do, then tell her yes while keeping your expectations about receiving them at all or receiving them with extra baggage very low. See how it pans out.

(((hugs)))
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  #40  
Old March 10th, 2010, 04:44 PM
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Re: Waiting for the other shoe to drop

No crystal ball here either, but I think it was a set-up for you to give the "wrong" answer. Or maybe that's not the right way to say it... what I mean is that (IMO, as sibling to 2 girl-bully sisters) she is kind of insinuating that she doesn't think that'd be something you'd be interested in - you know... "FAMILY" pictures. (I'm answering, of course, only from my perspective)
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