Hurt feelings over Christmas gift...

[yaya]

I think she should have just said "thank you", and tucked the pic away if she didn't like the way she looked in the picture. It often amazes me that people cannot show basic common courtesy. My MIL has certainly given me some hideous and thoughtless gifts in the past, but I would never be so uncouth as to criticize them. I simply say "thank you", and toss or donate the item if it doesn't suit me.

Your gift was very thoughtful, and you're absolutely right to let it go, even if MIL had a complete lack of manners about it.

[Mochadelicious]

Thanks Yaya. It's nice to hear my feelings were warranted. It's hard to be the bigger person sometimes but I'm over it (I think).

[KayKay]

Honestly, I'd have a bigger problem with the "lunch every Sunday" thing. Can you and SIL start a time-sharing thing where you go every other weekend and SIL's family goes every other weekend? Or... tell her you're coming but need to leave by 1:00 (and then do it, even if it means getting up from the table).

[Mochadelicious]

I'm afraid that if I told my SIL how I felt about our weekly lunches that it would somehow get back to my MIL. The funny thing is I'm pretty certain my SIL gets tired of going too because she occasionally takes a break from going, but she would never admit it (maybe for fear of hurting her moms feelings).

My dh would never want to leave earlier than about 3:00 unless there was something we really had to do. I have discussed with my dh about bringing separate vehicles so I can leave when I want but he thinks that would look bad. It wouldn't be so bad except it is so BORING! We sit in the living room for hours talking (often with long moments of silence in between). I know it probably sounds rude but we get so bored that we end up pulling out our cell phones to play on. Sometimes my dh falls asleep in the recliner. I start thinking about all the things I could be doing at home instead of sitting there twiddling my thumbs. I'm at least grateful that dh has agreed to take an occasional break but sometimes I feel some major resentment boiling inside me from this.

[KayKay]

Can you bring a load of laundry to do, or at least something productive?

My DH used to take naps when we'd visit his parents too (which thankfully wasn't every week!) Maybe you ought to beat him to the recliner next week, and take a nap yourself!

[snafu]

While I wouldn't do this myself - maybe you could get a headache once a month or something ....

[Mochadelicious]

I love the idea of getting to the recliner first and slipping into a an after lunch coma. I think bringing my laundry would be frowned upon (but oh so tempting). :-)

[Cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by Mochadelicious

I'm afraid that if I told my SIL how I felt about our weekly lunches that it would somehow get back to my MIL. The funny thing is I'm pretty certain my SIL gets tired of going too because she occasionally takes a break from going, but she would never admit it (maybe for fear of hurting her moms feelings).

My dh would never want to leave earlier than about 3:00 unless there was something we really had to do. I have discussed with my dh about bringing separate vehicles so I can leave when I want but he thinks that would look bad. It wouldn't be so bad except it is so BORING! We sit in the living room for hours talking (often with long moments of silence in between). I know it probably sounds rude but we get so bored that we end up pulling out our cell phones to play on. Sometimes my dh falls asleep in the recliner. I start thinking about all the things I could be doing at home instead of sitting there twiddling my thumbs. I'm at least grateful that dh has agreed to take an occasional break but sometimes I feel some major resentment boiling inside me from this.

know exactly how your feel, as I worked full time and Sunday was supposed to be my down time, however, we either had to go to his mother's, or he had friends that would always seem to pop in, so it was horrific to have to be on the go 7 days a week....fortunately, our local grocery store was open 24 hours, so I used to do my shopping at an ungodly hour in the early morning before the sunrise....and before work on a Friday....awful and my now ex, wouldn't hear about my needs....he just took naps....shhheeesh
If I were to remarry now, (and I wouldn't) I'd do as Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory does, and write up an agreement, and this would be included....as unforeseen issues.....LOL

[Mochadelicious]

Yes! This was an unforeseen issue before we got married. Last weekend she brought it up TWICE that no one had called her all week..once to my husband and then again to my SIL. My husband is not the chatty kind and hardly ever calls her during the week anyway so I'm not sure where this is coming from all of a sudden. Also, I've noticed lately that she texts us on Thursday afternoon and wants to know what we're bringing for food, but once we get to her house she doesn't have anything prepared herself. She just puts out some bread and maybe cuts up a couple cucumbers. She will sometimes make a simple green salad but waits until everyone gets there to start making it and then seems miffed if we don't help her. Hello, I just spent several hours of my previous evening after work puting something together for a lunch you insist on doing every week and I'm not going to help you throw a last minute salad together that you could have easily done the day before like the rest of us. She told my husband last week that I don't have to bring anything for our lunches if I don't have time or don't want to. Yeah right...I can not bring something. That's just asking for trouble. She really needs a man in her life but she refuses to even consider it and claims she's perfectly happy being single.

[Cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by Mochadelicious

Yes! This was an unforeseen issue before we got married. Last weekend she brought it up TWICE that no one had called her all week..once to my husband and then again to my SIL. My husband is not the chatty kind and hardly ever calls her during the week anyway so I'm not sure where this is coming from all of a sudden. Also, I've noticed lately that she texts us on Thursday afternoon and wants to know what we're bringing for food, but once we get to her house she doesn't have anything prepared herself. She just puts out some bread and maybe cuts up a couple cucumbers. She will sometimes make a simple green salad but waits until everyone gets there to start making it and then seems miffed if we don't help her. Hello, I just spent several hours of my previous evening after work puting something together for a lunch you insist on doing every week and I'm not going to help you throw a last minute salad together that you could have easily done the day before like the rest of us. She told my husband last week that I don't have to bring anything for our lunches if I don't have time or don't want to. Yeah right...I can not bring something. That's just asking for trouble. She really needs a man in her life but she refuses to even consider it and claims she's perfectly happy being single.

yeah, no, I would definatly talk to my husband about this, you shouldn't be made to endure this every single week....if he wants to go fine, but there is nothing wrong with you staying home and having some "me" time...you deserve it and need it. Ask him how he would like it if your mother would be so demanding?

I believe she is being overly manipulative and way to dependent on her kids? But that's just me.