Bank of Snafu

[LucyVanPelt]

Originally Posted by snafu

he's told me about it, but I don't speak teen .... I don't know if he's looking for help or just venting


suggestions?

Well, I'm pretty blunt as a parent. I'd ask him if he's just venting or if he's looking for help, and then I'd ask what kind of help if that's what he wanted.

It's not easy honoring their vision of themselves as an adult. All we can do is ask what they need.

[KayKay]

I'm curious about why the GM would give the check to XH instead of mailing it to DS.

[Knot2loud]

Did grandma have a brain fart or something? Your son graduates and she gives the check to dad?

Reminds me of when I was a waiter in a restaurant. The hostess would always give me the old ladies that would come in to dine. I would give them good service and they would leave me a 35 cent tip.

Of course... That has absolutely nothing to do with snafu's sons dilemma of hoping he gets his graduation check from Mr Drysdale (Banker on TV series Beverly Hillbilly's).

I do hope his dad give him the money.

[snafu]

Nope, DS isn't getting it.

Supposedly his grandma wanted deposited in dad's town

(i sometimes wonder if Knott & ex have crossed paths)

[KayKay]

Originally Posted by snafu

Nope, DS isn't getting it.

Supposedly his grandma wanted deposited in dad's town

Because, why? That's a really, really odd thing to want. Why would she care where he deposits it? Does he have a bank account in XH's town? Is he going to college in XH's town?

Honestly, snafu, I'd encourage DS to ask his GM directly. She gave him a graduation present, he's not getting access to it. She needs to know that, even if he has to mention it in a "thank you for the check, but..." note.

[Knot2loud]

Originally Posted by snafu

Nope, DS isn't getting it.


(i sometimes wonder if Knott & ex have crossed paths)

That's to bad.

Nope... Never met the man.

[snafu]

I agree with Kaykay - and .... I don't know that's DS's grandma really said that.

I'm planning on having a talk with DS soon - to find out what he wants to do ... knowing the fine line between letting him adult and navigate his relationship with his dad vs informing him of his options (as an adult) is really hard


can I have hugs?

[LucyVanPelt]

Originally Posted by KayKay

Honestly, snafu, I'd encourage DS to ask his GM directly. She gave him a graduation present, he's not getting access to it. She needs to know that, even if he has to mention it in a "thank you for the check, but..." note.

The sooner this conversation happens, the better. There may be a misunderstanding, but right now, it looks like dad may be stealing son's money.

(((hugs)))

[snafu]

I want to have a conversation with DS

1 - figure its gone and he will never see it again

2 - send the same letter to dad and grandma that as he's an adult he should be in control

3 - send a letter via lawyer that he wants all funds (2 minor savings accounts + grad check) turn over to him by ____ along with copies of bank statements.

[KayKay]

(((hugs)))

Don't suggest the lawyer until last resort, snafu. I know your ex is being a scuzzball but give DS a chance to learn to negotiate with him without lawyers. Bringing a lawyer in will damage their relationship, but DS might not be mature enough to realize that yet.