ex ... and dropping the rope (ish)

[Cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by Annsdil

Snafu my DS (13) as you may know is type 1 diabetic. He is on a pump. He has a lot of problems managing it. When I was managing it I had perfect control over it and have done the best to hand the reins over to him slowly over the years. He still doesn't take it on board.

The diabetic clinic put it down to typical boy laziness. BUT he is now accountable for his choices. These are life or death choices but I'm at the point where he has to make them. I'm not to give any input to the clinic. HE had to tell them why HE hasn't done this or that.

It's hard but if I don't let consequences of his choices play out (and I wouldn't neglect his care to the point of him being seriously ill) and maybe he get a shock because of his choices, he's never going to realise that actually he does step up to the plate for himself. Because otherwise he may go out into the big wide world and then end up with blindness, amputation or organ failure. But I have to do this.

Whilst neither your son or ex experience the consequences of their actions because they know they have you to fall back on they don't need to step up.

Your son's trip didn't get half paid? He doesn't go. And because you may have lost the deposit, he also gets to pay that back to you.

This is teaching him about life in the real world on his own.

I couldn't agree with you more...my grand-daughter is also 13 and has type 1 diabetes and is on the pump. I like your strength and resolve, to allow your son step up to the plate...(your a great mom)!!! Must you also wake him in the middle of the night to do a check?

Snafu, (What Ann and everyone else has said) the more independent you allow them to be, the better they will do on their own at life.

(hugs)

[Annsdil]

Thanks Creme!. Yes if his sugars are high before bed then it's a correction through the pump and then a two hourly monitoring to ensure they go down. If not then it's a pen correction. It's exhausting having to set my alarm for every two hours to try and get him up! I'm sure your own family can relate!

[Cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by Annsdil

Thanks Creme!. Yes if his sugars are high before bed then it's a correction through the pump and then a two hourly monitoring to ensure they go down. If not then it's a pen correction. It's exhausting having to set my alarm for every two hours to try and get him up! I'm sure your own family can relate!

Oh yes, they can surely relate.....
what I find most interesting is the fact that she is so strong, the courage she possesses, not to mention, the awareness and how loving she is...extremely polite.

I tell you I commend them and you...God bless you all, great parents! Honestly! I marvel at the bond, she has with both her parents, exceptional...they have most certainly created such a strong family unit.

sending hugs to you and yours.

[Annsdil]

💖

[snafu]

ex has paid



My hope is that they can set things up so that they mail ex directly rather than me forwarding things.

[snafu]

ex's mom gave DS a rather large check for graduation, ex wanted to hold on to it for him as DS sometimes loses/misplaces things.


It didn't come home with DS, he's asked dad to mail it to him ... still waiting ... and I'm leaving it alone

[KayKay]

That is sad. I hope your ex didn't "appropriate" the money for DS.

[snafu]

update - DS got his money and used it as part of his downpayment for his car




....but (you knew there was a "but" {or was that "butt"}) DS is now having to deal with ex's irresponsibility on his own - I give suggestions, when DS is clueless/asks - other than that I'm staying out of it

[Annsdil]

Fantastic news snafu!

[snafu]

just realized - DS is having to deal with his dad re: insurance