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Old November 12th, 2016, 03:25 PM
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estranged sibs & DM

I'm looking for ideas


short version: I'm estranged from my sibs for what I feel are valid reasons. My DM moved in with me this summer. IF they chose to vist her over the holidays, would general rules be out of place?


ex:
- stay out of my bedroom
- stay out of DS's bedroom
- if/when I'm cooking, leave the stuff I'm cooking alone
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Old November 12th, 2016, 03:50 PM
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Re: estranged sibs & DM

Those are basic manners!

I have two stories, so I don't say "Stay out of...." I just tell people I see heading for the stairs that the upstairs is private and they are free to use the bathrooms on the first floor. That usually takes care of snoopers!
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Old November 17th, 2018, 02:23 PM
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Re: estranged sibs & DM

update: my older sis has visited twice since my DM moved in; twin has not


Older sis plans to return in Jan. with one DD & GD, so that our mom can meet the "newest" (2yr old) GGD
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Old December 17th, 2018, 05:19 PM
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Re: estranged sibs & DM

twin has told DM that she'll try to visit in the spring (vague on purpose)

Hey - its been 3 years, 'bout time
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Old December 17th, 2018, 10:54 PM
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Re: estranged sibs & DM

Is your DM upset?
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Old December 19th, 2018, 05:05 PM
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Re: estranged sibs & DM

Oops, I was being vague about the date.

Anyway, one niece is coming to see Grandma before x-ma's, with the great grand kids;
Another is coming in January with a great grand child, and twin intends to come the spring

Mom is happy to see family she doesn't normally get to see.
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Old December 22nd, 2018, 11:58 AM
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Re: estranged sibs & DM

Visit with Niece went well, the kids were great.
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Old December 22nd, 2018, 12:49 PM
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Re: estranged sibs & DM

I'm curious how you handle these visits, snafu. The reason I ask is because my SIL now lives five minutes away from my ILs and we can't go visit the ILs without SIL coming over. Her presence really ruins the visit but we don't know how to prevent her from being there. It's not our house -- the ILs can invite anyone they want at any time. Your situation is different because it's actually your house that they're visiting, but I was wondering if you gracefully excuse yourself for part of the visit so they can visit your DM alone or what?
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Old December 22nd, 2018, 02:02 PM
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Re: estranged sibs & DM

Oh, I was gone at work part of the time.
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Old December 22nd, 2018, 03:53 PM
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Re: estranged sibs & DM

So they do get to visit your DM without you present. No offense intended. It's your house and you shouldn't ever be asked to leave it. I was just wondering. There's just some level of "can we please visit your parents alone for a change so this visit doesn't become all about you" that would be really welcomed in our situation.
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